Best Film Of 2008:- The Tale of (some mouse)

Best Book Of 2008:- Invisible Monsters.

Best Actor Of 2008:- Patrick Depmsey.

Best Actress Of 2008:- Anne Hathaway

Best Celebrity Of 2008:- who do you honestly expect me to say?

Best Game Of 2008:- hack.

Best Song Of 2008:- please don't make me choose.

Best Moment Of 2008:- meeting my heroes.

Best Band Of 2008:- panic at the disco. duh.

Best Singer Of 2008:- brendon urie. :D

Best TV Show Of 2008:- SURS

Best Piece Of News 2008:- a shark flew out of an aquarium to go down a water slide.

Worst Film Of 2008:- twilight.

Worst Book Of 2008:- that tour documentary book by the johoes.

Worst Celebrity Of 2008:- Pete Wentz XD (jkay I luvs a peetey)

Worst Game Of 2008:-Monopoly.

Worst Song Of 2008:- so many

Worst Moment Of 2008:- Idk was taylor swift on american idol?

Worst Band Of 2008:- johos

Worst TV Show Of 2008:- ying yang yo!

Worst Piece Of News 2008:- the shark died.

Did you have any resolutions? Did you break them? Keep them? nope nopes nopers

If you could change one thing about 2008, what would it be? I would be flirtier

What is the most memorable moment of 2008:- meeting panic/seeing panic live from almost-barricade.

Who did you spend most of 2008 with? me, rae, hannah.

Where did you spend most of 2008? my house, school rachels house.

Have you changed alot since 2007? yeah. panic happened.

yeah it is stolen, what ever


I am in indiana, and that is one amazing place to be.
It is warm here and there is still snow on the grounds, and the lake is still iced over.
It is really pretty.
the only thing that can ruin this is mean people.
Have you ever met a genuinly mean person who can almost never say anything nice to anyone ever? When every word that comes out of their mouth is hurtful to others?
Well, thanks to Maryam that is what is happening. She is a full blown out bitch to everyone. She is on teh panic boards but i dont think she even likes panic at all, cause she disses them and never talks about them on their own boards.
She really needs to leave, but after I write this I am going to ndp and getting all shutthehellup in her face. She deserves it. She is mean to innocent people, and by letting that happen I am just as bad.

I need to try Rockstar

I just spent the last four hours practicing guitar with someone.
It was A-Mazin. But now my fingers really hurt.
Before that I went ice skating.
I know I know, I usually do it like once a year, but I needed something to entertain myself. I didn't fall so that was good.
I got to see hannah's awesome nose piercing. it pwns your nose piercing. It pwns my nose piercing. (that doesn't exist)
After skating I tried my first energy drink, VENOM.
it was absolutely disgusting.
Then we ran to wallgreens and got sour patch kids and....RED BULL. Red bull was better but it took rachels mom like an hour to get there cause of traffic so, we left 30 minutes worth of messages on his phone, and on the way home.
Then at raes house, after we had been practicing for a while, we ate dinner. I had rice and MONSTER.
Ok let me get one thing straight, all energy drinks taste the same except for Red bull which tastes better for some reason. They all also look like urine. Except I haven't tried ROCKSTAR yet.
Today, was fun.
Tomorrow I am going back to rachels to practice guitar more, cause I might as well do something productive with my break.
The spider and the lamps...

Life is looking up...I can change the world open up their eyes.

I think that she is going to still be nice to me even if she doesn't like me, that is good.

You know who you are, so feel better, and talk. it doesn't have to be me it can be your blog, or lyrics I know something is bothering you and I cant stand not being able to fix it. like usual I am trying to control everything and be a control freak.

Weird thing, I was in the bathroom at the movie theater and in the bathroom I heard monsoon/tokio hotel playing. it was odd. pretty. odd. only it wasn't panic. it was scream america.

I saw a pretty interesting movie today, It was rather sick and depressing for a childrens movie. Including a distopia where rats ate mice, and humans and just about everything else and soup was banned because someone drowned in it, and a servent was driven mad because she wanted to be a princess. It was also overly cheesey, but hey, who doesn't want a man who is, brave, noble, and courageous.

Speaking of man, my "special friend" actually texted me today without me texting first, that was cool.

After the movie, I felt gorgeous (in the scene kinda way) and was openly flirting with some guys in the lobby. good thing they didn't know that I am 13 while they are old. Good thing I put on makeup. Good thing, I am (get ready for this marc, I know you love this word) hella sexy.

I was just doing scales and playing the intro to that green gentleman (G I think) so now I smell like guitar strings. (kinda like money) It was pretty fun. Now I am closer to bed, earlier then I have been for the past month, I like it and I plan to enjoy it.

I am happy now, no one is responsible no one is the reason. I am happy. life is looking up.

Some more news, because I haven't posted in so long, life is looking up, Hannahs mom might drive us to iowa for Secret Valentine tour. It will be amazingness including, We the kings, the cab, the maine, there for tomorrow, and versaEmerge. in honnor of the amazingness,

We the kings:

There for tomorrow:

The Maine:


and because Life is looking up

I'm a real big fan of yours...

I'm a little bit insecure,

I had a ton of fun today,
first i got to sit in a chair and have a wonderful god, dote on every single strand of my hair.
then I got to go to a party
a cookie party
and I hung out in my old neighborhood with michael spann for like 6 hours. It was pretty fun.
Then I talked to Marc for a while.
and then I watched instant star.
Its days like these where I feel a ton of love.
Its days like these where i remember I need to do homework that I forgot.

doing homework to this,

(brendon urie pwns everyone)

For my own Freedom...

For all of you who read my blog, I just want to remind you that, you choose to read this stuff. Cause, you dont have to. And you can choose who you want to tell. But my blog is now becoming a place where I cannot write anything I want. It is no longer a place where I feel safe, or welcome. So thank you to the people who made it that, and know that you are responsible for me not feeling safe when I write here.

It hurts SO bad with a knife in your back OH OH OH

Why cant you stop being butt-faces and actually take time to hear what we have to say?

Or do you reall not value our friendship that much?

Thanks cause now we know that :)

Here are some friends! we are missing some though

Beware! Cougar!

I am actually doing homework tonight.
Even though it is a monday.
I feel so, so, so smart.
I wonder how long that will last.

and thanks Keltie, I will give ryan a hug, and you.
Cause lets face it.
she deserves hugs.

Enjoying this,
forrrr nowwwwwww!

100 more words until i am done with my editorial!

I got the cheese wiz.

I am delicous.
Marc said so.
Yeah, I didn't do any homework today.
despite the fact that i had a ton of free time.
I just had nore interesting things to do.
Like watch live in CHI-town, and fawn over a picture with books.
and go christmas shopping.
and sleep.
and eat SUSHI!!!!


Is what I am.
What happened these last three days?
My cell phone is never ever leaving my sight again.
I have been sitting and wondering all day in the car,
what were you up to?

We are going on a trip!

Tomorrow starts the forever journey, of a family on a quest.
in other words...
my parents are forcing me to drive with them to texas.
see you when I can get to a computer out of the eyesight of my parents.
Death. It is always hard. no matter what. When it is a band, it is still hard

R.I.P. Phantom Planet. :(

Maybe someday you will raise the dead. :)

lets burn our dreams into the skyline.

(drunk and junk sound similar)

Tired, though Congrats Keltie. You are the most deserving person for that massage.

got this book called rant by everyones dear friend, Mr. Palahniuk.

It looks good, I will get to start it on my trip to Dallas. After I finish Invisible Monsters of course.

found a new intrest, in photography. Not just the run of the mill, take pictures of me and people, smiling with peace signs.
Yes the picture was meant to be like that.

I also really like writing. About the pictures I take, like poetry. Kinda weird, I guess. Whatever keeps me out of my mom's liquor cabnet. (rae next time u come over and we are home alone you know what we are trying, btw the poem isn't about you. just the picture)

hidden from light,
in the light,

Jam to THIS: Ha!


I have a long term goal now, college. In good 'ol chi town. And rae and I are going to share an apartment, and get drunk, and hannah will drive us home.
And we will go on road trips to places, like Las VEGAS. and we will again, get drunk. I AM EXCITED!!!! FUCK YESH

O, the Scientist and His Genesis

Just because you talked doesn't mean it is over, there are things that you dont know, and you will still keep secrets from her. that is why I dont want to go back, I want to move forward.
this song

RE: This is a blog about mean people.

First off, it is none of ANYONES buisness!!!! (Except Ryan and Keltie)
Second, EVEN if they do decide to share about their relationship, it is STILL not our place to judge in ANY way.
Third, Get a life besides writing shit filled letters to people who DONT deserve them.
fourth, rock on KELTIE! Cause even if you weren't dating who you are, I would STILL get mad over something like THIS. cause you DO NOT deserve it at ALL!

The Long Hard Wait

I have started my present for the next panic at the disco meet and greet I go to. Now you might be thinking, "god knows when that is". and unfortunatly I am thinking it too.
But this is pretty much a journal, recording most of my random panic thoughts and explaining them, I will create an online scrapbook to attach to it.
Its not so much if they read it, just if they see it, because I realize that they are busy people. I am not. I am bored. So I created this to keep me semi-occupied during the long hard wait.

on another note I am,
1. Nervous cause opening day is tomorrow, congrats Keltie on your big day!
2. Sad, because my special friend's tests aren't over
3. Excited for live in chicago.
4. Itchy from that nastical hat they are making me wear for the play.
5. Tired because, rehersals are a bitch.
6. Chapped (really badly, my lips at least)
7. Annoyed, cause my facebook uploader isn't working so yall dont get to c my beautiful pictures of the natureness, of shaw. Here is a picture:
8. Rebelous cause I am thinking about skipping gym tomorrow.
9. Happy cause i only have to go to two classes tomorrow.
10. Grumpy cause one of those is social studies (here we come mr. baughld, I mean baughring, i mean mr. bad breath. IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, Mr. Baugh)
11. Gloomy cause the other class is gym. I strongly dislike Coach Connor.

I have to do my homework, so if you are lucky I will post again tomorrow.

Lit Class

Mr. Boeynk is a douchebag, for taking away my cell phone. He isn't even my teacher.
Dancing around my room like a manaic, I stubbed my toe. But I would rather stub my toes then not have the chance to look like an Idiot.
I am cold, my room is about -50 bajillion degrees.
I am going to dance some more!
Dancing to this:
Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy.
many reasons
24 more days till something special
My friends RBLT pics were uploaded, this makes me happy
I was even more happy to see a picture of Jon Walker signing my cell phone.
I was 50 millions times even MORE happy to see a picture of Brendon with funny hair.

Hyper, Hyper, Hyper, Hyper.
It is cold in my room, so the hyperness,
might be shivering.
It is probably the happieness taking over!

Middle of Summer

I am sorry I have to use the very large refrence (originally between two amazing people bp <3 monkey) To how I feel right now.
But that is how I am.
I am so completely, wholely perfectly happy, in this very moment right now.
Thanks to many things
I really dont care if this means i am "Pathetically Adorable"
1. Marc Meller is an Amazing person (Who even talks to my friends.)(Yes she finally let me see the texts, she thought it would be sweeter coming from you, she thinks that we are "Pathetically Adorable")
2. I have amazing friends, (RAE, SYD, JO, HANNAH), they are pretty much the only ones who would put up with watching random panic inspired movies (The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Mirrors, SPINAL TAP)
3. I got new sunglasses.
4. I got to watch the sound of music, this always makes me happy.
5. I have very little homework.
6. On monday I have math first.
7. It is friday, kind of.

Listening to:

Holy The Sea

Taking pictures of everything today so people who dont know my can have a little bit of insight into what everything in my life looks like.

Last night I had a dream that it was peace day, and my volleyball coach was coming to give me a new pair of sunglasses (which he is today) and I was international peace day. I was walking up the stars and I saw, my sixth grade friend. Suddenly, I stripped of my shirt, to fix my bra (yeah I was acting like a total slut. Then I ran for the nearest bathroom, (but I ran to the farthest one.) Then I had to struggle to close the door. Then I went to play practice and they made me hold these dead furs that they are making me wear.

What does this mean?

listening to this:

Epic Fail

I tried to click on Behind the Sea (to listen) but then i realized that i was using my cell phone to click. Epic Fail for me today, besides falling off of stools on stage during play practice.

I wonder, when people decided things could have passion.

Happy Time
I have nothing to say

For our play (the dastardly deeds at the yoursin mine or youkon (come see at wydown middle school, clayton mo, nov. 14/15 at 7:30!)) we have to learn this fucked up song, about his fictional town, that this 7th grader wrote.
My friend told me to soak up the cheesieness when we were learning the hand movements (that i still need to learn better)
I honestly don't ever have any room for cheesieness,
I am never ever that person.
I only laugh around friends.
If something doesn't amuse me I dont laugh.
Many things amuse me, but only when i am with my friends.
I need to be more cheerful
around everyone.

The Best one, of the Best Ones

Why do I do this to myself?
I am an attention whore.
I need noise, I need people, I need music.
Why do I not share?
I get into these obsessions (volleyball, a certain band that i know of(:)) and I only let one other person be as obsessed as me. and i am terrible to the rest.
Maybe cause it is true. Maybe i am more dedicated. Maybe i am am addicted to addictions, But i live for it.
I am not going to change, just make myself better for the future.
I still admire my favorite band of all time, they hurt my heart from all of the love i have for them.

omg i love his preaches

listening to this:

The Short Term

In the short term, great! This weekend I am watching movies with friends, and the weekend after I am making shirts with friends.
The long term not so much, I am looking forward to the next PATD concert, that is anywhere from 5 months away to never again.
I am not sad. I am just bored with my life.

The End of an Era

Last night my very best friend was broken

Yeah that is right, my sunglasses. those neon yellow ones.

But I paid for these glasses.

I wore them everyday for the past three months.

I painted the ends of them.

My Idol (b.urie) complimented them.

Sifting through my images to find one of these glasses, I found they were in some way in almost every picture.

So many people have tried those things on, and you have no idea how many times I have washed them to eliminate facial grease on them.

I had already thought I lost them once in september but I had help from friends and I did find them.

Before I left for volleyball (where they were broken) I thought about not going to volleyball to catch up on the mountain of homework I am waking up to do this morning.

I also thought about leaving my sunglasses in the car. 5 minutes before they were broken.

Yeah, you are right, I can get a new pair. But I will not have them today, or tomorrow.

I am pathetic